Wednesday, June 29, 2005

"we come into your town, we help you party down..."

Well the word came down to all us weirdo, pinko, faggot alcoholics at R*LHQ that we had to "get right with God" and start doing things in the "American Way".
So with an eye toward avoiding "enemy combatant" status and having all of our MC5 records flushed down a latrine in Gitmo we proffer these U.S.A. P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act Approved celebratory activities for the coming 4th of July Weekend.

Shoot something.

Hit a French person. (Hit'em with a banjo for patriotic bonus points.)

Drive a car with a really big engine really fast in a straight line.

Tie some sort of colored ribbon around something to show your support for something.
(You'll never guess what color Ricky used, or what he tied it around, or what he's supporting.)

Listen to some real American Rock and Roll (like the Rolling Stones) at:
sponsored by the kind folks at Rheingold Beer
at Route 85A - downstairs - 85 Ave A btw 5th/6th
10pm till there's proof through the night that our flag is still there.

Dave found some decidedly un-American (or maybe all-too-American) behavior here:

Lots of R*L Minuteman drills this week:

(you should get out of the house and get to work on your base tan.)

112 Ave A, SE corner @ 7th St
(in the basement tiki bar)
WED JUNE 29th (holy crap, that's tonight!)
9pm - John Kopf
10pm - Richard Bacchus

Micky's Blue Room
171 Ave C, bet 10th & 11th Sts
9pm - The Reverend Timmy James in his triumphant single kidney comeback.
9:30 - The aforementioned Richard Bacchus
10:00- Best of Rock*Land Buddies and Batting Cleanup in the Ghost Boyz lineup: Mad Juana!

Then on Monday, July 4th after the fireworks (10pm or so) it's all back to Route 85A for grillin' and chillin'!
This could be your only chance to see a planned fire at Rock*Land all summer.

So saddle up and head on down
to the land of the freaks
and the home of depraved.


if these emails are a drag, you are an affront to everything our founding fathers fought for and you'll make baby Elvis cry.

Oh, and the terrorists win.
Yeah, that's it.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

"Remember when she was prom queen?"

What else are four well-meaning, morally bankrupt Rock and Roll DJ's to do?

We sent Dave to Jamaica for a week with 3 undisclosed ladies.

We sent Rev. Timmy back to Ohio to have unspeakable surgical procedures performed AND
made him give up smoke, drink and drugs for two whole weeks.
(Here at R*L HQ we'll be paying for that one for a long time.)

We've sent Shelby & Ricky to both England and Charlottesville, Virginia.

We've even let Miss Jilly play records and have a birthday.

Now we've had to play the lipstick lesbian porn card.

So you better get your filthy, dirty, naughty pervert self down to:

sponsored by the kind folks at Rheingold Beer
at Route 85A - downstairs - 85 Ave A btw 5th/6th
10pm till we run out of Astroglide
(and we're bringin' a lot of Astroglide)

With all your favorite Rock and Roll Porn Stars:
Ricky Bacchus - Star of "The Erotic Adventures of the Atomic Elf in Latex Land"
Shelby Bacchus - Star of "Shelby Shags Shaolin" (filmed on location in fabulous, sensuous, historic Staten Island)
Dave - Star of the soon to be released "Whore of the Worlds"
Rev. Timmy James - Appearing as interested bystander #3 in "Cum-munion"

And as always, Miss Jilly dispensing divine double-D-lightful drinks for discerning depraved drunks of all description.

Absolutely Guaranteed* This week:

Wanton acts of carnality.

Shameful human depravity.

Erotic mayhem.

Stickiness beyond measure.
*this is not a guarantee.

Meanwhile, why not practice your onanist tendencies on these deserving websites:

The New Rock*Land Email Archive

Richard Bacchus - check out the D Gen video.

Dave's Blog

Toys in Babeland

And if you need help finding porn on the internet.

You need help.

Do not make us come get you.
It will not be fun.

(for you)

Looking back at what I've written, I'm not sure why this week is different than any other.

Get in here.

if these emails are a drag, let us know and we'll cut it out.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

"The kids are all right" or "I Went Back to Ohio"

Heeees Baaaaack...

The Reverend Timmy James is back from Ohio
(pictured above on guitar with brother Walter on Keys)

Since he is the one who writes the witty stuff here’s the deets:


Thursday, June 16th 2005

At Route 85a (85 Ave A between 5th and 6th)

We are Ricky, Shelby, Timmy & Dave

We get started at 10 PM

We play rock music

We invite you all

We love skip

We are wikked psyched to have Tim back

We reply “remove me” to be removed